Why you Should do Household Tasks in Front of your Children to Preserve Your Energy

When I was pregnant with my first, I was told by every second mother to make sure that I ‘rest when the baby rests’.

Because you have no idea what you are in for … until you’re in it, this advice would wash over me.

When it hit me like a tonne of bricks, I didn’t listen to this valuable guidance. I cooked, cleaned, washed, and worked during nap time. I actually mocked this advice: ‘rest when the baby rests.’ Are you kidding me?

After 18 months, I have now taken this advice on board, and it turns out those mothers weren’t talking jibberish; resting when your baby rests has real substance.

Protecting Your Energy:

The most important thing you can do as a mother is to protect your energy. When you learn to restore and preserve your energy, you can tackle the constant hurdles children throw at you with grace and a sense of humour.

It is during those times that you are burnt out that you couldn't possibly change your screaming baby's diarrhea nappy for the 7th time that day without exploding. I mean, obviously, we have to do these things because it is our job, but we need our energy to be restored to deal with these physically and mentally exhausting scenarios on a minute-by-minute basis.

If you think about it, you wouldn’t work from 5 am until 6 pm without a break.

The baby having a nap is in place for the both of you. God gifted us the nap.

I used to spend nap time running around like a headless chicken, trying to get both my own work and the housework done. I would finish nap time feeling depleted. More importantly, I wasn’t in the right headspace to go into the second shift for the day. I was just getting through the day, hanging on by a tiny thread. More annoyingly, I would get competitive with my husband about who was the most exhausted at the end of the day. I would always win, of course, but a lot of it was because I wasn’t being strategic.

Mummies, YOU HAVE TO BE STRATEGIC.

So, when do I get everything done? … You may be wondering.

The trick: do household tasks in front of your child:

Doing household tasks such as cleaning, washing, and cooking in front of your child is really important for your child’s overall development and self-esteem. After a while, your child will want to join in and help. Children are naturally drawn to helping out, and although they aren’t considered jobs or chores yet, they are still intriguing activities (I love innocence). 

We are slowly getting into this phase with Reef (slowly). Whenever I start doing the vacuuming, he likes to get his pretend vacuum (a stick) out and follow me around (it is adorable) (it would be even more adorable if he was actually vacuuming) (baby steps) (literally).

Investing in some household equipment for your child or children is a great idea.

Household equipment for kids:

-       Kitchen tools (a child-safe knife)

-       A kitchen step ladder so that they can be in the kitchen cooking with you

-       A broom

-       An apron

-       Cleaning utensils

Whilst this may create more mess at the start, slowly but surely, you will have a team of little helpers and, more importantly, children who have been raised to love, care for, and respect their belongings and environment. 

There is more to it, though.

Maria Montessori understood that children feel more at peace when their spaces are clean, and because they are part of a community, they need to contribute to keeping their areas tidy. Her education philosophy places significant importance on tidying up and is part of the children’s daily routine. If you are trying to introduce this, I suggest you follow these steps.

1. Start by singing a pack-up song (tick tock goes the clock, is ours).

2. Mindfully start tidying up (model what you want your child to do) (whilst singing).

3.  In the beginning, you can ask your child to do a specific task, and eventually, it will become a simple part of the routine with no instruction needed (this is the goal).

4. When you do this well with the first child, the second child will pick up on it without any instruction (wah-la!). 

An 85-year ongoing study by Harvard Research found strong connections between doing chores and later success and happiness. The studies found that children who share household responsibilities developed greater self-worth, empathy, confidence and work ethic. In Steiner and Montessori schools, children start from an early age, not because they rush the child to partake in ‘adult activities’ but because these education systems aim to guide each student to a life of creativity, compassion, and self-confidence. Rudolf Steiner understood that children feel a sense of worthiness when they contribute to their community and partake in practical work, which is an important life skill.

A lot of the time, children may be happily playing while you are completing household tasks. This is also an essential part of the daily rhythm, as children should be able to sit and play with themselves. They must learn to fill their own ‘boredom’ with creativity and new play scenarios. It isn’t our role to constantly keep them entertained, and when we attempt to do this, we fail to recognise the beauty that lies in childhood. Without sounding like the most annoying person in the world, it is important that while your child or children are playing, you are mindfully completing these household tasks. You are the energy leader in the home. Children learn by imitating us, so we must be worthy of imitation. Adults who are active in a purposeful, calm and organised way guide their children’s will and nervous system in a strong direction.  

Partaking in household tasks in front of your child preserves your energy and models mindful and practical work. This is one component of how I began to restore and protect my energy as a mother, and I have written a list (which I will post this week) of other ways I have successfully shifted from the headless chicken mother to the calm, patient, floaty one (most of the time). I have successfully shifted from the headless chicken mother to the calm, patient, floaty one (most of the time).